how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
