I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
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shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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