i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize