Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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