she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize