Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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