its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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