last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
