Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize