I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
