Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
porn star boner night. come get it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
