you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Buhtt sex?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
