I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize