I wish my penis had an off switch
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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