my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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