It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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