with your own penis?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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