ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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