I am full of burrito and curiosity
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
