Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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