you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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