Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
