Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
