ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
