i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
