Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
