we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
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gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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