ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
