Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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