I could have mohawked her pubes.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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