I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
