Where is the hickey?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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