69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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