Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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