beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
