If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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