all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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