I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
