oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize