You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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