i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
