so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
