3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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