If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
