Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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