i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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