I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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