i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
