Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then he tried to convert me to islam
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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