Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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