laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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