I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
