so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
