so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
